Today he visited the dentist to have a baby tooth removed, or extracted, as they like to say at the office.
I like that.
It makes the procedure sound like a rescue operation instead of a wholly unpleasant tooth yanking (which is how I would say it and probably why I’m not a pediatric dentist).
In my world…
Doctor: That pink monster was holding on to the ivory prize for dear life, but you know the ol’ saying, ‘you can’t keep a good doctor with a wide array of extraction forceps down.’
Reporter: It’s said that without this extraction, this tooth would have had to wait upwards of a month or possibly much, much more before the child gave it up. Is it true that the orthodontist requested you take action before more teeth were harmed?
Doctor: Yes, unfortunately, this is true. I don’t know if you are aware of this, but some children just like their teeth. They have so many teeth and they don’t always have the proper room for the amount of teeth they have acquired. This can lead to all sorts of problems for the teeth. Teeth like to be straight. Teeth like to be tall and strong. Sometimes, when a child has too many teeth and refuses to let some go, the teeth get crowded and they aren’t able to stand straight and tall. They start pointing all willy nilly and there is nothing more we can do, except extract some and then corral the others with metal and wire until they are able to stand straight and tall.
Reporter: You like the word teeth, huh?
Doctor: Yes. Teeth.
Reporter: You’ve successfully extracted hundreds of teeth from children, does that make you a hero?
Doctor: I don’t like to use the word “hero”, ma’am, I’m just a pediatric dentist with a penchant for the ‘pull’.
Reporter: And your feelings on the Tooth Fairy?
Doctor: Mi mejor amiga, truly.
Reporter: Thank you for talking with us, Doctor.
Doctor: No, thank you for bringing attention to our little extractions.
Tig is fine. He had ice cream for lunch (doctor’s orders) and is back to screaming at the speed with which the Xbox is loading Halo for him.
I’m proud of how bravely he took it and his orthodontist can now go about the business of making everything straight and tall.